Has your boss secretly set you up to fail? Your boss is responsible for creating an environment for you and your peers to do your best work. Your supervisor profoundly influences your success and failure. They pump up the morale of the team, or they destroy it. Furthermore, your supervisor directly affects culture by creating one that thrives or one full of toxicity. If you find yourself engaged at work, you can thank your supervisor. Conversely, if you find yourself disengaged at work, that is due to your supervisor.
The funny thing about bosses is that when employees perform well, they credit themselves with being good managers. But, when employees underperform or fail, they typically do not blame themselves. Because the boss doesn’t recognize their lack of skill, they unconsciously set you up to fail. Instead, they blame the employee for not understanding the work. They label them lazy or say they have poor time management. Even worse, they will accuse them of not following directions. Whatever reason the manager finds to explain why an employee is failing, it becomes the employee’s fault.
Sometimes, however, failure or poor performance falls under the employee’s responsibility. Sometimes employees don’t have the knowledge or skill required for a job. At times, employees may not have the desire or energy required, which will cause them to underperform or fail altogether. In these cases, your boss isn’t setting you up to fail. But an employee’s poor performance or failure is often attributed to their manager.
12 Signs Your Boss Set You Up to Fail
Good and bad supervisors alike will have a tremendous impact on your success. However, the worst ones fail to prioritize your needs and, as a result, create the most negative employee experience. Here are twelve indicators that your manager has set you up to fail at work:
- When your boss has not clearly defined what success looks like, they set you up to fail, preventing you from being a high performer.
- If your boss isn’t providing the necessary resources to do your job effectively, they undermine your ability to succeed and set you up to fail.
- When your boss limits or withholds access to the information needed to make informed decisions, they secretly want you to fail.
- If your boss doesn’t have candid or difficult conversations about your performance, they want you to fail.
- If you go days or weeks without seeing or hearing from your boss, they secretly want you to fail.
- They put employees into two buckets; the in-group or the out-group.
- If your boss restricts your access to people outside your department, they have set you up to fail.
- They destroy your confidence by telling you other people are talking negatively about you.
- Your boss destroys your brand by telling others you are awful when you aren’t.
- When your boss starts accusing you of making mistakes you didn’t make, they have set you up to fail.
- If your boss’s praise for your good work suddenly turns to negative performance evaluations or they start documenting your conversations, you have been set up to fail at work.
- When your boss starts micromanaging your daily tasks, they have set you up to fail.
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Why is your boss setting you up to fail?
Bosses are people and are flawed just the same. Good bosses are mature enough to recognize and keep their unconscious biases in check when assessing and working with you. Bad bosses, on the other hand, are not usually skilled in doing so. They are easily manipulated by others who offer lukewarm or negative feedback to you. Bosses who set you up to fail will take that feedback and run with it breathing life into a false truth that reflects you as an employee.
Bosses who set you up to fail also allow their personal feelings about you to interfere with how they manage you. Your boss’s attitudes, values, or social characteristics will significantly impact their impression of you. And so, they set you up to fail without even trying to.
As a result, your boss will create a version of you in their head and take action. They increase their time and attention on you, require approval before you make decisions, and ask for unreasonable documentation to validate your suggestions. Your boss sets you up to fail when they watch you more closely and become more critical of your every move. They have set you up to fail because you don’t fit their mold.
Bosses who manage you in this way are recreating high school cliques. They are recreating their days as the high school quarterback or the cheerleading squad captain. Or worse, they weren’t part of the in-crowd and are abusing their authority to be popular now. When your popularity around the office determines your work’s quality or output, your boss is setting you up to fail.
A boss once told me he didn’t think I would be such a strong team player. When I asked why he said because I wasn’t into sports, how could I possibly know anything about being on a team? He could have easily written me off and let me fail. Instead, he watched me interact in team settings and changed his mind. He then demonstrated humility by confiding in me.
How to Work With a Boss That Set You Up to Fail
Nobody should be in a place where they feel undervalued. The first step to solving a problem is recognizing that one exists. If you’ve concluded your boss is setting you up to fail, here are some actions to take now.
1) Pivot your mindset
Your manager has nothing to gain when you fail. Unless they are purely evil, they have more to lose than you do. Identify if other reasons are causing you to feel this way. Are you feeling challenged or overwhelmed? Does your manager give you the harder assignments because they know you are capable? Have you imposed your own impossibly high standard for success that you are setting yourself up for failure? Looking at the situation from a different lens can help you see the situation more clearly.
2) Clarify instructions when your boss is setting you up to fail
Sometimes feeling like your boss is setting you up to fail comes from unclear or conflicting instructions. Ask questions and get instructions in writing. Paraphrase back to confirm your understanding. Even more, demonstrate your understanding via email so your boss has a chance to confirm or deny. Another tactic that works is to gain agreement on what done looks like.
3) Prioritize your boss’s success
Sure, the thought of supporting a boss that set you up to fail probably turns your stomach. However, you gain nothing by making them look bad and could potentially harm yourself even more. Figure out their weaknesses and make yourself an employee they can rely on to be more effective. Don’t lower yourself to their level. Find ways to become indispensable.
4) Clarify your needs when your boss is setting you up to fail
Operate under the assumption your manager isn’t evil or out to get you. When faced with a situation bound for failure, speak up and clarify what you need to be successful. Your boss is busy and may not realize you are struggling. Make a direct request for what you need, explain why it is needed, and, more importantly, the impact if it’s not provided.
5) Ask HR to facilitate a mediation
When all else fails, ask human resources to facilitate mediation. If you’ve done all you can to improve your relationship with your boss and they continue to set you up to fail, it is time to ask HR for help. The first step in mediation is to get both parties to agree there is a problem. Once the problem is confirmed, you both work to understand the other’s viewpoints and agree to a resolution.
Mediation should be the last resort and only used once other methods have failed. Even more, the mediation shouldn’t be a surprise to your boss. Regardless of how you feel about them, they deserve the courtesy of knowing how you feel and the opportunity to fix it before involving HR.
Throughout your career, you might feel your boss is setting you up to fail. When you feel that way, implement the five actions above. Find someone you can trust and give them the facts and specifics of the situation. Save documentation of questionable situations and events. More importantly, maintain a positive attitude and focus on producing your best work. Finally, as a last resort, take your documentation to human resources.
You don’t have to stay at a job with a boss who demonstrates they don’t value you by setting you up to fail. Move on to a boss and company who will set you up to succeed and celebrate you rather than tolerate you.
Last updated on May 4th, 2023 at 05:26 am
